


Like We Never Loved At All

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-14
Updated: 2007-03-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 16:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12729975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Daniel is afraid of what he will find when he goes to DC.





	Like We Never Loved At All

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

I really didn’t want to come to DC. Didn’t want to face what or who was up there. But it was like a team holiday and how could I say no? So I got on the plane with the others and sat next to Teal’c, who kel'no'reemed the whole way there, thankfully. 

_You never looked so good_  
As you did last night   
Underneath the city lights 

He met us outside our Hotel in his damn dress blues. Why did he have to wear them, he knows what they do to me. 

_There, walking with your friend  
Laughing at the moon _

He greeted Sam with open arms, Teal’c got a pat on the shoulder, Cameron got a handshake and Vala got a, “So you’re the new one.” Then, someone must have cracked a joke, because suddenly he was laughing and my mind was thinking of all the times he’d laughed with me. That’s when the lump at the back of my throat appeared.

_I swear you looked right through me_

Finally he turned to me and I got a rather cold, “Daniel.” He didn’t even look me in the eyes. I really didn’t trust my voice around him, so I just nodded. How sad is that I still can’t speak around him after all this time, can’t trust my voice to say something without the pain and regret showing, without it breaking as tears fill my eyes. This is why I didn’t want to come to Washington. Because Jack‘s here.

_But I'm still living with your goodbye  
And you're just going on with your life _

Someone, I think it’s Cameron, asks Jack how he’s been, and he reels off all the things he’s been doing and then some. Funny isn’t it, how the dumper always moves on quickly and the dumpee is always found wallowing in a pit of self-pity and ice-cream; oh, and caffeine in my case. 

_How can you just walk on by_  
Without one tear in your eye   
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?   
Maybe that’s just your way  
Of dealing with the pain   
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all 

_You, I hear you're doing fine_  
Seems like you're doing well  
As far as I can tell 

Somehow I get stuck sharing a room with Vala, not exactly my idea of a great time, I can assure you. Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, she starts to recite the things Jack has been up to. Once again I’m left with the feeling of regret, regret that he left me for this. I totally zoned out on Vala and she pats me on the shoulder. “Don’t worry,” she says kindly, “I’m sure its not all fun and games here; and I’d bet money that he misses you too.” Slowly I nod. “He tells Sam he misses us when he rings her.” Vala smiles, not unkindly, and sighs. “I said he misses you, not the team.” I raise my head, expecting more, but I just get a smile and a nod. Great, thanks Vala, if I wasn’t confused before, I am now!

_Time, is leaving us behind_  
Another week has passed   
And still I haven't laughed yet 

I spent the day sleeping, told everyone I was jet-lagged. I wasn’t, but they were all going out with Jack and I couldn’t stand the idea of that, so I slept. I could of sworn only a couple of hours had passed, but before I knew it, Vala was waking me up, telling me we were leaving for dinner in forty minutes. My, doesn’t time fly quickly when you’re heartbroken! So, I quickly shower and dress, and I’m ready. I didn’t notice until I was in the restaurant, but I had put on a light blue shirt…a light blue shirt that Jack had brought me before he left. At that moment I knew this meal was going to be Ne’tu on Earth! Towards the end of the evening, everyone has had a little too much to drink, and somehow Jack had conned Teal’c into telling Jaffa jokes that were never funny, but everyone always laughed. Well, not tonight. I didn’t laugh once. Not the whole night, I didn’t find anything funny, not the jokes not the anecdotes, nothing. I’m beginning to think my sense of humor left with Jack, but nobody said anything to me, so I think I got away with it.

_So tell me what your secret is  
To letting go, letting go like you did _

I’d love to know how he does it. How he manages to move on so quickly and forget everything in the blink of an eye. I wish I could. I wish I could just take my love for Jack, box it up and put it on a shelf somewhere, along with my love for my parents, Sarah and Sha’re. But I can’t. He touched me too deeply. Left an imprint in my soul and my heart. An imprint that will never fade or be forgotten. 

_How can you just walk on by_  
Without one tear in your eye   
Don’t you have the slightest feelings left for me?   
Maybe that’s just your way  
Of dealing with the pain   
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all 

“I’m just popping downstairs.” Vala smiled at me. “So you can chat up the bell boy?” I asked. She just smiled more and winked. A few minutes had passed when there was a knock on the door. “I can’t believe you forgot your key!” I shouted as I opened it. “Hello, Daniel,” Jack muttered. I could feel my eyes filling up even at the sight of him, how pathetic am I? “Yes?” I ask coolly “Can we talk, please? I‘d like to come in too…” He smiles. “Don’t want much do you?” I mutter, as I step back to let him in. 

“I miss you,” he states. Just like that, no preamble, no ‘how you been’; just ‘I miss you’. I looked around the room to check I was the only one in there. Yep, just me. “You miss me?” I repeat. 

“Yep, you, I miss you, don’t you miss me?” I really can’t believe he is asking me this. Do I miss him? Is the Pope catholic? Does a bear shit in the woods? Does the desert miss the rain? I shake my head: he misses me, the man who shows no emotion – or signs of it – misses me? “You don’t miss me,” I tell him. He tries to speak but I keep talking. “How can you miss me? You walk around like nothing ever happened between us, at the SGC people avoid me now because I miss you so much, I find myself crying all the time over the most insignificant things, like your team winning, for Christ’s sake! Have you even shed one tear over me? Is that how you dealt with it, Jack, pretending nothing ever happened? That you never loved me? Or were you lying when you said that?” 

“NO,” he shouted “Don’t ever think that I don’t love you Daniel; I do, so much it hurts and I can’t think of anything else, but I was trying to protect you.” “Protect me from what?!” I shouted back at him. 

 

_Did you forget the magic?_  
Did you forget the passion, oh   
And did you ever miss me?  
And long to kiss me Oh baby, baby 

He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into a bone-melting kiss. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that,” he whispers when we break for air. “About as much as I have,” I whisper back. “I’d almost forgotten how good a kisser you are,” he said, blushing. “You don’t need to remember, because this time, I‘m not going to let you go,” I said, smiling. “Good, Spacemonkey, ‘cuz I’m not leaving, even if you want me too.”

_Maybe that's just your way_  
Of dealing with the pain   
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall  
Like we never loved at all 


End file.
